Tucker Opines on Halloween

img_2348Hello There Friends,
So this week the humans celebrated this thing called Halloween.  The Tribe of Five would like to go on record as saying that there is absolutely nothing for felines to celebrate on Halloween!  And why do I say this, well, allow me to explain.

First, the humans have been known to attempt to shove their felines into ridiculous devices of torture that they refer to as “costumes”. They know better than to try that with this Alpha but they did do it to Alberto last year. (You may recall his blog about The Great Halloween Indignity) I am happy to report that this was the human’s first and last attempt to dress any of the Tribe of Five for this event.


Still, not all cats have been able to avoid these indignities, I was horrified to see photos of felines strapped into these items of torture all over the internet (see samples above). Just take a look at their faces and tell me that they’re enjoying themselves!

img_2361Now, if you are a kitty who’s managed to escape the whole costume thing there are other things about this Halloween that I find disturbing. For instance, the male and female humans leave five days a week to a place they call “the business”. Now since they own this “business” I can only assume that they have total control over what happens there. And this is why I got my whiskers in a twist when I saw this photo. Evidently they allow other humans to bring their canines to this “business”. I am highly insulted that they have not invited the Tribe of Five to work there (not that we felines actually work, we are far better at snoopervising.)  Just let me say the humans have a lot of explaining to do!

img_0092And, as if the indignity of knowing your very own humans are secretly spending time with other humans’ canines isn’t enough to send us into a tail spin, then there is the torture we go through every night of this Halloween. Now everyone with half a brain knows that the doorbell is not the feline’s friend. (Note to guests, you can find more about doorbells and other rules you should know here.) And it’s not just one “ringy dingy” or even two “ringy dingys”, it’s the constant torture of this despicable doorbell thing causing us to run and hide every few minutes. Poor Oliver only got as far as the dinner take out bag before the hordes of costumed candy thieves arrived.

All night it’s the same hellish routine, get settled on your favorite spot on the sofa, then the demon doorbell rings,  run and hide only to start the routine all over again in a few moments.  I don’t know what you humans find so entrancing about wearing stupid clothes and putting stuff on your face so you can hijack candy from your neighbors (and I might add that teaching this horrible practice to little children is beyond the pale!)

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The Tribe of Five took a poll and we all decided we’re boycotting this Halloween thing next year and are considering drastic measures to keep the humans from opening the front door.  I mean just look at what Halloween did to Al this year!

So my fellow felines, unite against this anti-kitty holiday and join us in our boycott of this disgusting celebration next year. Felines Unite!!

 

 

 
Purrs & Head Bonks,
Tucker

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The Felines Opine On 2016

tukcrownTucker Opines

Well, I must say, 2016 was fairly much like 2015. I retained my lofty position on the red chair in the living room, received treats regularly and even strolled (under human supervision) on the upstairs deck.

The “little guys” as we call them continued to be annoying and always  up to  some kitten shenanigans  but they do recognize my authority as the Alpha of The Tribe of Five and now that they’re just over a year, they are settling down a bit.

And they are making themselves useful. Oliver has decided he likes my prescription food and this is quite convenient for me.. Each morning, when the female human comes out of the bedroom, Oliver races down the hallway and does a little dance by the food bowl. The female human obediently goes to the pantry in the laundry room, grabs the food and fills both of our bowls. Having Oliver around is never having to say, “I’m hungry”.

I’m looking forward to another relaxing year as Alpha as I take up my post on the red chair (or, as the humans refer to it, the “throne”), watch the household antics of Oliver and Alberto, receive my treats and have a perpetually full food bowl.

Jasmine Opines

Siamese cat Jasmine in fake nose and glassesWell, I am still living in the human’s bedroom but things have progressed. If you’re wondering why I live in the bedroom, you can read about it in Amelia’s story.

There have been some breakthroughs in 2016. The humans invite Lily into the bedroom frequently in the evenings and things are progressing enough that  I will actually come out from under the bed when she’s there (although sometimes she forgets she’s supposed to show me deference and chases after me, resulting in a loud a hissy fit and a big “fluffy tail”).. The female human is also leaving the bedroom door open periodically (when she can watch Lily and make sure she doesn’t waltz in.)  I am optimistic about the future.

Siamese cat sitting at a snowy windowThere is much in my two-room environment to keep me interested, the automatic red dot thingy Siamese cat sitting oi chair in front of widow in winterthat twirls and spins and throws red dots down the hallway, huge windows and wide window ledges that look out to the woods around the house.  I often have visitors come by. Some are felines, some are birds, some are squirrels and there is the occasional raccoon as well.

My brother Tucker comes and visits and sleeps overnight, as does Oliver and Alberto.  Tucker sleeps in one of the cushy cat beds but  Alberto and Oliver are a bit disruptive so they end up being escorted out of the room at some time in the wee hours.

The female human showed me that you don’t have to go out to do good work for pets. She and her sister founded a lost pet social media organization for our area and many pets have been reunited with their families thanks to all the good people who help.

All in all, it’s been a good year and much more interesting than last year. The female human told me that when I write my year end comments for 2017, she hopes I’ll be telling you how I roam around the house again.

Lily Opines

cat with New Years hat and glassesIt’s been a good year. I’ve been in the human’s bedroom many times and I’m thinking Jasmine and I may be friends after all (as long as I don’t forget myself and  chase her).

I have a nice routine with the female human. Each evening after she finishes making dinner, she goes downstairs and gets a pail full of cat food. She calls this “junk food” and won’t let us eat it on a regular basis, but she does give Alberto and I a few bits. If Tucker deigns to sashay down the stairs to join us, he gets a few pieces too. She then takes the pail and puts the food down on the patio for our masked friends. One of them comes with her little masked babies and I like to sit by the sliding glass doors and chat with them about woodland life versus indoor life. Seems to me I have the better deal.

The female human’s story “All My Children Wear Fur Coats” was published in February in the newest Chicken Soup for the Cat Lover’s soul book. This experience made her even more interested in writing about and for cats (it’s because of this that she is our purrrrsonal assistant and types for us in this blog). She was even on several radio shows talking about the fabulous Tribe of Five and is now working on something she refers to as a “cozy mystery” that has two cats as main characters (I hope one of them is me).

This month was a bit stressful. Some of the human’s relatives visited, and, although I am sure they are wonderful people, I did not want to be bothered so I spent the time downstairs, burrowed under the sofa cover. The Tribe of Five produced a manual for guests who visit homes with felines, you may want to ensure your humans read this.

It’s been a purrfectly wonderful  year and I look forward to a purrfectly wonderful 2017 as well.

Oliver Opines

Black and white cat with new years mask and hatI would say that I probably had the most exciting year as I threw my hat in the ring as the Kitty Cat Party cat-i-date for purresident. My running mate, Olive, from Three Chatty Cats, and I even sent our human to a conference called Blogpaws with campaign buttons to spread the word about our platform.

Olive and I presented a complete platform only to find that the Today Show featured another feline who was running and never even mentioned my name so I had to take them to task, sheesh, what’s a cat got to do to get some press coverage?

Sadly, my running mate and I did not win but this does black and white kitten runs for presidentnot mean that I have abandoned all my purrlitical aspirations. I have been reading about cats that are mayors, customs officials and even a Chief Mouser for the British Cabinet.  Now that I have some experience, I’m thinking I might just be successful at this purrlitical thing.

No matter what I decide to do in 2017, it will be a great year and I look forward to opining all about it.

Alberto Opines

Siamese cat in bag wearing party hatIt was a great year. I was the official spokes-purrson for the Kitty Cat Pawty campaign and I quite enjoyed all the attention.  Even though my brother Oliver didn’t win, he told me there would be a job for me if he ever entered the purrlitical arena again.

Things in the spring and summer were grand. The humans bought us a portable catio and we all enjoyed
bird and squirrel watching on the front porch and upstairs deck in complete safety. Ever since the female human took a class about the concept of “Fearless” cat raising, she’s made sure our home is as fear free as possible.

The next exciting thing I experienced was being able to Siamese ca walking on leash in the gardenstroll through the front garden with a harness and leash. I quite enjoy myself when the female human takes me out to explore.

I had fun with the male human showing him how to pluck the string things on his guitar, we made some lovely mewsic together

img_2553Fall was a bit dicey. First the humans tried to put some ridiculous thing on me that they called a “dinosaur costume”. I was having none of it and, as you can see by my expression, I conveyed my unhappiness quite clearly.

Then, the female human came out into the living room one night made up like a feline. I was completely gobsmacked (as my British moggie friends would say). At first I was freaked out. Was she going through some strange human to feline transformation? If she was transforming into a cat, who would take over all the things she does for us? (I don’t trust siamese cat and woman with cat ears and cat make-upthe male human to do this). Once I calmed down and figured out she was not cat-morphing I became a bit annoyed. Was she mocking us? It was a terrible “faux paws”  and one, I am fairly certain, the female human will not repeat.

As I lounge by the fire, I am thinking what a happy cat I am and I think 2017 will be even better.

A final note from the #TribeOfFive

Thanks to all our friends out there in the blogosphere. We love the notes we receive from other felines (and other non-feline creatures…and even humans)  and we look forward to entertaining and enlightening you all from our little corner of the world in 2017.

Purrs & Meows,
Tucker, Jasmine, Lily, Alberto & Oliver