Alberto here (but you can call me Al, all my friends do). Today I wanted to write about the strange fixation the male human has for this thing he calls a gee-tar. The male human has a very nice mewsic room downstairs (which, by the way none of the Tribe are invited to visit) but he often brings the gee-tar upstairs and strums it while he sits on the sofa.
I find this behavior a bit rude. The firm, unwritten rules of our household state that “when a human sits on any piece of furniture, said human will make their lap available to any feline who may be so inclined to sit on said lap.”
I am not a cat who easily takes no for an answer so I figured I’d hop on top of the human and get a closer look at this gee-tar thingy that he found more interesting than me. At first glance, I was not impressed.
Evidently the female human is not impressed with the gee-tar because she often complains about the male human “twanging” on the thing when she’s attempting to watch the moving images in the big flat box in the living room.
But I digress. So there I was, checking out this thing when I heard some noises coming from it. Hmm, the male human runs his fingers along the string things and noises come out. The male human uses a bright-colored teardrop shaped cat toy he refers to as a “pick”. What a shame that humans don’t have the sharp teeth and claws we felines possess, they would never need to bother with the “pick.”
The male human did not pick up on my polite hint that I needed his attention so I decided to focus some more attention on his gee-tar.
As I came in closer, I noticed that the string things moved when he plucked at them. Could this be some wonderful new cat toy? Is it possible that the human brought this thing upstairs for my amusement and edification? Hmm, maybe I was a bit to fast to jump to judgment.
I thought, In light of this new information I must show the human my appreciation. I leaned in closer preparing to help him coax a noise from the string things on his gee-tar. This could be quite a bonding moment, I thought. If I get this right I can help him compose a tune that he could play to accompany Tucker when he stands outside the bedroom of the humans and sings the song of his people in the wee hours of the morning. (That’s just how I am, a cat that cares about everyone in his tribe, human and feline.)
I leaned in, lifted my lips back and got one of those string things in my mouth. Just as I was getting ready to pull it, I found myself unceremoniously dumped off the humans lap and onto the floor. Can you believe it? The human does not honor the code of the house and make room for me on his lap and then, when I am attempting to assist him, he dumps me on the floor.
It took me a few moments to recover from the indignity but I am a jovial fellow and prefer not to let conflict into my life. After giving myself a good wash, I hopped into the chair where the female human was sitting. She understands the rules of the house quite well and petted me and told me what a handsom guy I am. Finally, after receiving enough affirmations to renew my self-confidence, I twitched my tail, jumped off her lap and sashayed off to the dining room window to check for birds and squirrels.