Hello Humans and My Furry Friends and Supporters,
Oliver here. It appears that my declaration of candidacy for Purrresident has not been taken seriously. I believe I laid out an excellent case in my presidential opinion piece of February 5th, 2016. Imagine my shock and dismay when I read the article on the Today Show Pets and Animals online site where they presented my feline opponent and some canine opponent I’ve never even heard of as the sole furry contenders for the office.
Here’s a newsflash Today show, Oliver Twist Aurit is also in the race. I can only suppose that you have some sort of “ageist” issue with me. The feline opposition is six years old and the canine contender is 9 years old. I admit I am a kitten (7 months) but what I lack in years I make up in enthusiasm.
As it is clear that Today has not taken the time to read my platform ideas, I had my crack team of human research slaves, uh, assistants scratch out some information about my opponents.
Lucy Lou, the Border Collie
Now here’s a prime example of what’s wrong with paw-lo-tics today. She’s been in the mayor’s office of Rabbit Hash, KY for eight years. Can you spell, “canine crony capitalism”? Practiced and polished politicians entrenched in office can’t hold a stick to my youthful effervescence and enthusiasm.
I do not think that the fact that she won over her competition is necessarily anything to bark about, when you find out that ten dogs, one cat, one opossum, one jackass and one human being vied for the position.
And can we talk about her fashion sense (or lack thereof?). What’s with the baggy skirt? Seriously, doesn’t she have staff? Who would let her out of the house looking like that? (Oops, I was just reminded by my feline mentor Tucker that only cats have staff, dogs have owners.)
Limberbutt McCubbins the Feline
I discussed in de-tail my thoughts about candidate Limberbutt in my February blog but, can I just say, do you really want a president with the first name “Limberbutt”. How are we Americans going to feel when “President Limberbutt” is introduced to foreign dignitaries like the Queen of England? I think the sound of “President Oliver Twist Aurit” is much classier!
I would also like to point out that I am neither a Demo-cat or Republi-cat but a true blue
representative of the KittyCat Party, the party of less human intervention in our food choices, freedom for all household animals to choose where and when they want to sleep and the concept of servant-leadership (the humans are the servants and we provide the leadership). Although I initially ran as a Conserva-cat, I have grown and expanded my ideas although; I must say that Limberbutt’s stand on the legalization of catnip does come into alignment with the KittyCat party’s platform.
So Today show, I want to be clear that there is another cat-i-date in this race and I also want to state that as a pragmatic kitten who has less life experience than the other two cat-i-dates, I would be very willing to reach a paw across the aisle and discuss a Vice-Presidential position. (And I have some high profile supporters!)
Your friend and KittyCat Party Cat-i-date
Today Show, how could you?!? Oliver, you’re too cute!
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Team Oliver! Team Oliver all the way!
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Oliver thanks you!
You appear to be the purrfect catidate. You have my vote Oliver!
Oliver and his staff thank you for your support!
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