The Felines Opine About Cat Sitters

tukcrownTucker here. So, the humans went away for a few days to something they called a “wedding”. I have no idea what that is but since I measure all the human activities in light of how it affects me, I was concerned about how the absence of our  servants….errr, beloved humans would affect me.  The humans have always looked out for us when they are not home but still, a cat needs to keep on top of what’s going on.

During the human’s 4-day departure, the rest of The Tribe of Five and I had time to reflect on the subject of cat sitters (why humans call them sitters I will never know, most of them come in, feed us and then leave right away. We rarely see them doing any sitting).  We felt we would do our humans and any future cat sitters a great service by compiling some of our thoughts on this cat sitting business.

 

Dear Cat Sitter,

1212010 003As far as I am concerned, wet food must be provided twice a day according to our daily routine. I have to admit that impatient cat sitters who do not wait for the others to eat their wet food are my favorite people.  I can wander over to all the bowls and finish each dinner before the other felines  have an opportunity to eat. When there is no one to say, “Tucker, NO!” I enjoy quite a repast.

Also something very important to note,  evening treats are NOT an “option”. These treats are part of our routine and something we all look forward to (especially me).

Tucker

 

Dear Cat Sitter,

img_0174Since I’m sequestered in another part of the house due to bullying issues (that cat has since been rehomed but I’m still afraid to roam the house), I live a very quiet existence. For the most part I’m self sufficient but I miss my human’s company at night so I greatly appreciate it if you spend little time with me after the evening feeding. I like to talk to my humans and tell them about all the things I saw outside the big windows in my space. The female human always talks back and even though it sounds like so much cat language gibberish, I like it. If you choose to converse with me, I will not judge you on your feline vocabulary, I’ll just enjoy the fact that you are attempting to communicate with me.  When the humans ask you to turn on the automatic red dot machine, please do this. It provides me with good exercise and brightens my day. (I’d turn it on myself but the lack of opposable thumbs makes this impossible). It also engages Alberto and Oliver who sit outside the door and swat at the dot when it sneaks under the door. Finally, I agree with Tucker, evening treats are definitely NOT optional!
Jasmine

 

Dear Cat Sitter,

cat in windowI am the most skittish one in the Tribe so I don’t bond easily with strange humans. If you spend a little time talking to me, I greatly appreciate it and may even rub your legs or give you a head bonk as a thank you. Also, please pit my wet food dish on a high, safe spot so I can eat in peace without Tucker attempting to move me away from my food. I don’t usually eat immediately  so standing guard for me for a few minutes is also greatly appreciated. . I have no firm stance on the subject of evening  treats but I sure do enjoy eating the cat grass in the kitchen window and appreciate it greatly when the cat sitter waters it. Finally, if you do not see me you may want to check under the coverlet in the guest bedroom or under any of the throws in the house. If you spy a lump, it’s probably me which also brings to mind a caution, please check for lumps before you sit down.
Lily

Dear Cat Sitter,
Siamese Cat Sitting on suitcaseBecause our mother was killed after we were born, my siblings and I were bottle fed and have bonded to humans.  As a matter of fact, we find humans interesting and fun. I never miss the opportunity to make a new human friend so if you would sit on the sofa for a bit I’d love to sit next to you and get some petting.  Since my brother Oliver and I are still young, we love to play. Be careful that you don’t trip on the cat toys I’ve taken out of our toy bin and, if you walk downstairs, I love to run down ahead of you and stop abruptly in front of you, be cautious and alert.  There is  a tantalizing jar of Meowijuana in the pantry that is always a hit with us.  The humans will tell you that Tucker is a “mean drunk” but don’t let deter you from offering us catnip.  As long as you sprinkle the stuff on all the scratching posts we can enjoy it without fighting. (Oh, and don’t forget Jasmine, she loves catnip too!)

Alberto

 

Dear Cat Sitter,

img_2222-1The other four members of The Tribe of Five have covered most of the major points but there is one important thing I’d like to mention. Just because there is kibble in my bowl does NOT mean you should not fill it to the top. Part of my favorite morning routine is doing my “food dance” into the laundry room as you get out the bag of cat food. I will then dance an enthusiastic cha cha down the hallway to the food bowls. I also appreciate a little petting time, because, as Alberto said, we are people lovers. If you stretch out your legs, I will be happy to plant myself on top of them (be sure you have everything you need close by if this happens such as TV remote, your phone, etc. ) as I do not take kindly to being rousted. Things will go much better for you if my departure from your legs or lap is my decision.

Oliver

The Three Feline Rules Regarding Furniture

Hello Friends,
Alberto here. The recent purchase of a sofa at our house brought up some misunderstandings between the felines and the humans in our home. It occurred to me that many of my feline readers may be experiencing some of these misunderstandings in their own homes.

The female human announced the sofa was for her and our male human to “sit comfortably” and watch the big black moving picture thingy in the living room. What she failed to recognize is that there are feline rules regarding furniture and other areas of the home that must be obeyed.

Rule # 1 –What’s Yours is Ours

a living room with two sofas
The new sofa arrived and the female human snapped a photo after it was situated. Note that the fur protection, i.e., blankets and throws are not in appearance yet…and they always magically disappear when other humans come to visit).

We were quite happy to have this extra space to relax on and wasted no time checking it out.

 

 

Rule # 2 – Your Comfort is Of No Concern To Us

Siamese and Black and White cat sleeping togewther
We immediately took possession of the new sofa (as well as the old one). We so enjoy the blankets the female human puts on them for our comfort. I am purrrticularly pleased with the long part of the new sofa as I like to stretch myself out as far as I can and this area accommodates me quite well. We are thrilled with the extra room we now have, each sofa accommodates two cats, much more comfy than our former,  cramped situation!

 

 

 

 

The female human is always griping about not File Apr 17, 3 50 37 PMhaving a comfy place to sit but since she’s always that last one home there is no spot for her. The male human, if he’s lucky, squeezes himself in on one side of the new couch and the female human is left with the chair. Now if any humans are reading this and wondering, “Why don’t they just move the cats?” you are obviously not owned by felines and attempting to explain this phenomena to you would be fruitless.

 

 

 

Rule # 3 –Any Place We want to Lounge Is Our Space (if It fits we sit)

a siamese cat and black and white cat sitting in a sinkThe female human often points to areas of the house saying things like, “Keep off the counter”, “You are not allowed on the dining room table”, blah, blah, blah.  We find this quite amusing and wonder when she’s ever going to give up this sham that we have boundaries.  I’ve included photos of us in a few of the places she’s designated as “off limits”. Siamese Cat in a baskekt

 

 

 

In conclusion, new furniture, old furniture or for that matter, any place in the house, belongs to the felines in residence and not the humans.  Sometimes the humans  will cruelly close doors in an attempt to keep us out of places. There is Siamese cat staring through a glass dooralways a work around for this. The female human tries to keep me out of her downstairs office but thankfully she has glass doors so a pitiful expression and much howling always does the trick (if the door is not glass, no worries, just implement the howling).

Siamese cat sitting on dining room table

 

 

I hope my feline friends have found these rules helpful and that my human readers will finally come to the inevitable  conclusion that cats will lounge where cats want to lounge, it’s how we roll.

 

Your friend,
Alberto
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