Tucker Opines
Tucker here. The home of the Tribe of Five has been the destination for a number of visitors this year. We normally live a fairly quiet life, doing what we want, when we want, pretty much where we want. The arrival of human visitors always puts a bit of a crimp in our lifestyle.
There are a number of pre-guest things that happen in our house that we felines find objectionable. There is the copious use of the vacuum monster, the aggressive mop and the fact that some spaces, normally available to us are suddenly restricted.
The female human is a bit obsessive about cleaning and boy does she ramp up when people are coming to stay at our house. There’s a lot of toothbrush around the moldings, edges of the shower, etc. Really, in all my thirteen years, I have never seen a visiting human bend down to inspect the moldings in our house. I think the female human needs to chill.
This flurry of activity is the first indication that guests will be arriving. And then comes phase two, the guests arrive!
Each member of the Tribe of Five have certain requests of any interlopers….errr…guests that come to our home.
First, please remember that there are specific areas we have designated as our own personal rest spots. For me, it’s on top of the down cushion on the big red chair. When sitting in my chair, please do not lean too hard against the cushion in order not to disturb me.
You may want to bring your own personal sticky, roller thing. Although the female human has many around the house…in a house of five felines cat hair is the gift that keeps on giving.
Please be respectful of our schedule. The male human prepares our wet food dinner at approximately 4:00pm each day. If you have plans for the humans, I ask that you honor our dinner schedule. What you do after that is of no consequence to us.
Alberto Opines
Alberto here. The humans have this wonderful room with a big, comfy bed, lots of soft quilts and a perfect view of the trees, waterfall and forest below. This is one of my favorite nap places. When you arrive, the humans will escort you to this room, and then tell you that it is perfectly fine for you to keep the door closed. Do not believe them. It is not perfectly fine; it is in fact, quite rude in my estimation.
How am I supposed to get a nap when you shut my only access to this wonderful place? You visiting humans bring interesting smells on your shoes and luggage and we felines need a chance to come in and do a thorough sniffing observation. How can we know where you’ve been and what animals you have petted when you deny us access to this room?
When you sleep, it is particularly nice for us to be able to come in and walk across your face and sit on your chest so please, when our humans say, “You’ll probably want to keep the bedroom door closed” accept this for the lie that it is.
Oliver Opines
Oliver here. When Alberto and I were first brought to our home as fosters, we were very tiny and the humans used the large guest bathroom as our nursery. This is why I have a purrrticular fondness for this room.
In addition, the female human has the room decorated in black and white and I feel that it shows off my own beautiful coloring to it’s best advantage (and, if I sit very still, it works as fairly good camouflage).
One of my favorite games is “sneak in the bathroom, hide in the shower and then jump out” when the guest humans are sitting on the white, throne thing. I derive great delight in this although I must confess, some of the guest humans let out little scream sounds and act like they’re upset. Really, have you seen me? I’m a cute little guy with a black heart over my eye, how scary can I be?
The humans will use the same line regarding the guest bathroom door as they do with the guest bedroom door, giving guest humans full purrrmission to lock us out. Do not believe their lies. And for those guest humans who do choose to keep the door closed. Alberto and I will position ourselves in front of it and wait for you to come out so we can rush in.
Lily Opines
Lily here. I am extremely shy and human guests send me into a state of absolute terror. If you want to start out on the right paw with me, I BEG you, do NOT ring the doorbell! A soft knock on the door freaks me out as it is, but the horrible door bell will send me down the stairs in a panic and you may never see me again during your stay.
Because I am a scaredy-cat and none too sociable, I will probably remain downstairs during the length of your stay. If you insist on coming downstairs into my territory, I ask you to be extremely careful before you sit on the sofa. That lump you see under the couch cover is probably me.
If you go into the female human’s office downstairs, please observe the rules. It is expected that I will accompany you but none of the other felines are allowed. This is a contract I have had with the human for quite a while. It works well for us and I expect you to honor it.
Some of us are referred to as “darters” and when the humans tell you to make sure we don’t get out, they are very serious. We live in a woodsy area and there are a number of woodland creatures who show up and stare into the downstairs sliders. The upstairs deck is not so safe either. Tucker has fallen off the balcony twice into the ravine and Oliver launched himself downstairs when he was just a kitten. If you want our company outside, the humans will show you where they keep the pop up tent catio that allows us to be outside and stay safe.
If you are going to sit on a stool at the counter, you may not want to leave any meat items you are eating unattended. This goes for glasses of water as well. We probably won’t drink it but there’s a good chance it will end up on the floor.
Finally, when the female human does her nightly feeding of the mama raccoon, house rules state that I am to have a little of the cat food she gives them. It’s our little ritual.
That about covers it but remember, you may go your entire stay without ever meeting me.
Jasmine Opines
I am the “invisible” feline, Tucker’s 13-year old sister who was bullied severely and now lives in the human’s bedroom . The female human wrote about this. I am happy to say, things are progressing. Since the kittens Alberto and Oliver came to live with us, they visit me regularly. Lily comes in for a while every evening and the female human takes me for regular visits to the rest of the house. She says that one of her happiest days will be when the bedroom door is open and I roam the house again.
My tips are simple, please don’t ask to meet me, it might freak me out. Please don’t keep my humans up too late as bedtime is “me” time with my humans.
I am the least affected by company but I do know how much the humans enjoy those who come to visit so I say, come and visit, enjoy the view from the guest room and be sure and bring light colors and clothes that cat hair won’t cling to. And for heaven’s sake, leave your canines at home!
P.S. Don’t forget to check your luggage before you leave, Alberto is fast, sneaky and loves to hide in suitcases.
The human photographer 
As my regular readers know, this working feline loves stories about other working cats. This is a pictorial tribute to felines that work in “Boozers” as the English refer to the establishments also known as pubs. I think working in a pub would be quite interesting and I wonder, do they get tips like the human bartenders do?
The #TribeOfFive is pretty spoiled and we have lots of great toys and feline themed items. As a matter of fact, number 8 on the list is something we already have (
‘Lest you think I’m completely selfish, I am also interested in what gifts are best for feline-loving humans. Our friends at
While I’m on the subject of translating “cat-speak” if you don’t have a Meowlingual cat translator, you can still learn how to understand a bit of feline talk. You will be able to discern the difference between the trill, the bip, the yowl, the chatter and other feline expressions after reading this post by 
Dear Friends,
thanks for your support and today, be sure and thank a veteran for their service!
The owners of a wine store met a feline and thought they would find him a home. The feline, named Jake, had other ideas. He loved the store so much, he’s now the “Meow-an-ager”. Now, before you get on your high horse and decry the fact that this cat has a job, it was his choice and Jake holds court at his store, seeing his admiring public (many bearing gifts) on a daily basis. Two paws up for Jake who landed himself a cushy life.
While I’m on the subject of wine….Jake might recommend these libations to his feline customers. Cats can choose from a nice Pinot-Mewo or a MosCATo from 
When you visit the True Value hardware store in Crested Butte, Colorado you may meet Jingles surveying his domain. Technically,. Jingles is a working cat but his job description is much more lofty than “store employee”. His influence in the community is such that his birthday has been declared a holiday. Way to go Jingles!
I’ve heard of shop cats, library cats, railroad station cats and even felines with political positions but I’ve never heard of a cat that guards an ancient and important place, until I heard about an orange Tabby who guards the ancient pink city of Petra in Jordan. The folks from 
You may be wondering why I selected this post, well it hits very close to home. We have a feline member of #TheTribeOfFive who has a penchant for eating plastic. The male human offers him fresh, stinky, delicious (and exzpensive) wet food and he turns his back on the bowl. But he never says no to plastic. He’s been known to jump up on the counter and chew off the plastic band on the bananas in the fruit basket. He’s chewed through the bag of birdseed and when the female human picked up the bag, she spent some quality time cleaning scattered seed off the kitchen floor. He also ate through the female human’s lunch bag and ate the tabs off her laptop cover. I don’t know where he stands on Play-Doh but after reading this post I’m going to suggest to the humans that they not keep any in the house!
I am a big fan of music therapy. The female bought an album called 
I had to include this post as it is so timely. Now, while I admire and applaud Arty and Christmas’ willingness to step up to the plate and do their patriotic duty to run for office must be honest and say that I will not be able to vote for them as our very own 
Chatty Cats
Meet the Hosts Behind the Showcase
This photo array of a feline and a squirrel is awesome! Our squirrel/bird feeder is on the upstairs deck and we don’t get so close to our wildlife visitors. I am considering having my purrrrsonal assistant make a poster from these fantastic photos and hang them over one 
of our litter boxes. Also, I must say that the “press feline” looks quite dapper here and I am reconsidering my attire as official
Now here is an idea whose time has come. We felines (and my canine friends) have a lot to be stressed out about like door bells, vacuum monsters, thunder, well you get the idea. One would think that a feline’s humans (particularly humans who pride themselves on keeping a “fear free” home would have better sense than to put on cat ears and paint their face like a feline. I kid you not, 
this is what the feline human did on their Howl-o-ween holiday. Nearly gave me a heart attack. Suffice to say there will be no more of that in our house. The photo is of her trying to apologize.
change our names from the shelter names right away but wait awhile to get to know us better. My name, for instance, is because of my sleek physique and my penchant for running around the house like a speed demon. The male human loves bicycle racing and so they called me Alberto Contador. I know, pretty dumb huh?. I can say that I’m a bit annoyed that my brother, Oliver’s name appears as number four on the list. Seriously? We many need to renegotiate this naming thing.
are located or what they look like. Just keep ’em clean and easy to get in to. Period. but the female human spends much time and money on litter boxes that don’t look like litter boxes and ensuring they are placed in areas where company will never see them. So humans, enjoy.
One of these tavern cats is named Venkman and you can read about the great new life he and other cats have thanks to 
female human who is my purrsonal assistant for blogging (can’t use a keyboard without 
After I wrote about my costume indignity, I heard from some friends over at Adventures in Cheeseland which is probably the only WordPress blog hosted by mice. Now the Cheeseland folks are very willing to allow all species to have a say on the blog and they referred me to a guest blog post , 
The Telegraph – 
