Tucker here. So, the humans went away for a few days to something they called a “wedding”. I have no idea what that is but since I measure all the human activities in light of how it affects me, I was concerned about how the absence of our  servants….errr, beloved humans would affect me.  The humans have always looked out for us when they are not home but still, a cat needs to keep on top of what’s going on.

During the human’s 4-day departure, the rest of The Tribe of Five and I had time to reflect on the subject of cat sitters (why humans call them sitters I will never know, most of them come in, feed us and then leave right away. We rarely see them doing any sitting).  We felt we would do our humans and any future cat sitters a great service by compiling some of our thoughts on this cat sitting business.

Tucker Opines – Dear Cat Sitter,

As far as I am concerned, wet food must be provided twice a day according to our daily routine. I have to admit that impatient cat sitters who do not remove bowls with uneaten food are my favorite people.  I can wander over to all the bowls and finish each dinner before the other felines  have an opportunity to eat. When there is no one to say, “Tucker, NO!” I enjoy quite a repast.

Also something very important to note,  evening treats are NOT an “option”. These treats are part of our routine and something we all look forward to (especially me).

Tucker

Jasmine Opines -Dear Cat Sitter,

Since I’m sequestered in another part of the house due to bullying issues  I live a very quiet existence. For the most part I’m self sufficient but I miss my human’s company at night so I greatly appreciate it if you spend a little time with me after the evening feeding. I like to talk to my humans and tell them about all the things I saw outside the big windows in my space. The female human always carries on quite an interesting conversation with me and even though it sounds like so much cat language gibberish, I like it. If you choose to converse with me, I will not judge you on your feline vocabulary, I’ll just enjoy the fact that you are attempting to converse.  When the humans ask you to turn on the automatic red dot machine, please do this. It provides me with good exercise and brightens my day. (I’d turn it on myself but the lack of opposable thumbs makes this impossible). It’s also a bit of fun for Alberto and Oliver who sit in the hallway and swat at the dot when it sneaks under the door. My final point,  I agree with Tucker, evening treats are definitely NOT optional!
Jasmine

Lily Opines – Dear Cat Sitter,

I am the most skittish one in the Tribe so I don’t bond easily with strange humans. If you spend a little time talking to me, I greatly appreciate it and may even rub against your legs or give you a head bonk as a thank you. Also, please put my wet food dish in a high, safe spot so I can eat in peace without Tucker attempting to move me away from my meal. I don’t usually eat immediately  so if  you stand guard for a few minutes I greatly appreciate it. I have no firm stance on the subject of evening  treats but I sure do enjoy eating the cat grass in the kitchen window and appreciate it greatly when the cat sitter waters it. Finally, if you do not see me you may want to check under the coverlet in the guest bedroom or under any of the throws in the house. If you spy a lump, it’s probably me which also brings to mind a caution, please check for lumps before you sit down.
Lily

 Alberto Opines -Dear Cat Sitter,
Because our mother was killed after we were born, my siblings and I were bottle fed and are very bonded to humans.  As a matter of fact, we find humans interesting and fun. I never miss the opportunity to make a new human friend so if you would sit on the sofa for a bit I’d love to sit next to you and get some petting.  Since my brother Oliver and I are still young, we love to play. Be careful that you don’t trip on the cat toys I’ve taken out of our toy bin and, if you walk downstairs, I love to run down ahead and stop abruptly in front of you, be cautious and alert.  There is  a tantalizing jar of Meowijuana in the pantry that is always a hit with us.  The humans will tell you that Tucker is a “mean drunk” but don’t let that deter you from offering us catnip.  As long as you sprinkle the stuff on all the scratching posts we can enjoy it without fighting. (Oh, and don’t forget Jasmine, she loves catnip too!)

Alberto

Oliver Opines -Dear Cat Sitter,

The other four members of The Tribe of Five have covered most of the major points but there is one important thing I’d like to mention. Just because you see kibble in my bowl,  does NOT mean it is fully filled. Part of my favorite morning routine is doing my “food dance” into the laundry room as you get out the bag of cat food. I will then dance an enthusiastic cha-cha down the hallway to the food bowls. I also appreciate a little petting time, because, as Alberto said, we are people lovers. If you stretch out your legs, I will be happy to plant myself on top of them (be sure you have everything you need close by if this happens such as TV remote, your phone, etc. ) as I do not take kindly to being rousted. Things will go much better for you if my departure from your legs or lap is my decision. Oh, and there is always a sticky, fur removing device in the kitchen. I do suggest you do not wear black and corduroy is a big fashion mistake in our house.

Oliver