Hello there furiends,
Yes, I admit it, I took some time off and I quite enjoyed the rest (you know we felines need our rest!) But the proverbial party is over and it’s time to get back to work. I have a lot to cover since I’ve been slacking (and gave our Purrsonal assistant some time off). The Female Human is not a fan of early mornings and she and Oliver enjoyed hanging out and having a conversation over coffee (Oliver doesn’t drink coffee, he just likes the warmth of the cup).

I on the other hand, have been chomping at the bit to get back to work. The Female Human has an office that is for working and for doing crafts. I must say I love all the craft goodies on the shelf. I have no idea why she gets her whiskers in such a twist when I help myself to some craft supplies, sheesh, how selfish can you get?

The good thing about The Female Human having this craft/work situation is that she has a table rather than a desk and this table has an “Alberto extension”. This makes it much easier for me to snoopervise her while she works.

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Well, it’s time for me to get to the feline news.

CHONK Statistics Revealed

For those of you who follow my Wednesday web wanderings, you know that our all time favorite Facebook group is This Cat is CHONKY. The humans and felines in this group are some of the greatest we’ve ever met (we’ll be writing more about why this is) but for now, here is only one example. A very mathematically motivated human in the group has created a Universal CHONK index so that the debate about whether your home is filled with CHONKS, SLONKS or FLOOFS can finally be steeled.

Ellis Mumford-Russell has taken on this herculean task and it has settled many debates in the CHONK   community. We now have numerical and provable  CHONK standards. If this is all a bit confusing to you I suggest you join the This Cat is CHONKY group and get to know the CHONKS AND the wonderful humans they live with and for heaven’s sake before you identify your felines as HEFTY CHONK, MEGA CHONK, etc. please refer to this index.

Universal Chonk Index Update

It is with great pleasure that I unveil the findings of our UCI survey. I charted the 54 data points, which you can see here.

(explanation of UCI here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/133018060894811/permalink/560333531496593/?hc_location=ufi)

A few things:
1. You’ll see cat names listed on the bottom. If people didn’t list cat names, I put the human’s name with an asterisk after
2. Remember, the smaller the number, the more chonky the cat

Most Chonky Cat = Matita w/UCI 1.17
Most Slonky Cat = Noel w/UCI 4.75
Average = 1.8657
Median = 1.7222
Mode = 1.7000

UPDATE: photos now included below for Matita and Noel so that we can see the scale of C H O N K –> S L O N K ??

Proposed Chonk Standards

Given that I presume that the sample group skews chonky, I propose the following standards:
this cat is C H O N K Y ≤ 1.7
this cat is A V E R A G E = 1.71-1.9
this cat is S L O N K Y ≥ 2

Diving further into the data, here are my suggested parameters for the following categories of cat:
some sort of snake cat ≥ 4
l o n g b o i ≥ 3
A fine boi = 1.71-2.9
He Chomnk = 1.6-1.7
A Heckin’ Chonker = 1.5-1.59
H E F T Y C H O N K = 1.4-1.49
M E G A C H O N K E R = 1.3-1.39
AW LAWD HE COMIN’ ≤ 1.29

Use these findings as you see fit.

View the data here: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1UlWWRg6kLF1-MIT7om4WV-7TmsX-t1AAwuEX7DMy7OI/edit?usp=sharing

LuluPet’s AI Litterbox will analyze your feline’s “deposits” and check for health issues

If our Female Human had a dollar for every time she’s had to describe to the vet the appearance and texture of the poop of The Tribe of Five, she’d be a rich woman, And gathering this information accurately when you have a multi cat household and numerous cat boxes is like searching for the holy grail.

But take heart humans, LuLuPet has a litter box with “built-in stool and urine image recognition” to analyze our… deposits. And why have an AI litter box that does this? It’s for the health of your felines, of course. The Female Human paid purrrticular attention when she read that the LuLuPet device can be set to determine which poop is from which cat.  

When the cat walks into the litter box, the information is sent to an app on the human’s phone. The company says that the litter box is Alexa- and Google Home-enabled. This offers more questions than answers. Whose voice does it respond to? If it’s the felines, do we have to learn special meows? If it’s the human, what is the voice command? The next feature has Oliver’s whiskers in a twist because the litter box can weigh your feline and determine whether the cat is too fat. That brings me to another question; will they be employing the CHONK data information noted in the article above?

Evidently this wonder litter box can also determine if the cat needs more food or water.

LuluPets joins many other smart litter boxes but most of those boxes focus on cleaning the box and not analyzing the cat’s health. And there’s even a built in camera although this causes me to wonder, can’t a cat get some privacy?! The thought of my human watching me “do my business” over her phone app is a bit off-putting and frankly, an invasion of my privacy.  LuluPet says that these photos are uploaded to the LuluPet library and are used to compare the different “deposits” of the other felines.

Now don’t get me wrong, this thing could really be a help with cat health, but I’m having a bit of difficulty believing that it will be as effective as the company says it will be. But, time will tell. This smart litter box is slated to be sold on Amazon in March for $149.00.

Canyon Ranch Inspired Resort for Felines…Human send me right meow!

Cat’s Meow resort was founded by Kim Thomas who took her business acumen and love of cats and created her feline resort, Cat’s Meow. She refers to it as the Canyon Ranch for felines.   She began her feline career with a pet sitter service and said that she noticed many of the cats she cared for were in need of grooming. She did her research, connected with the National Cat Groomer’s institute and became a master cat groomer.

She loved grooming felines, bet felt something was missing in the marketplace.  She wanted to create a place where cats could enjoy luxurious, stress-free, happy cat boarding without the distraction and fear of dogs —- along with the latest in cat grooming. and Cat’s Meow Resort was born.

The spaces at Cat’s Meow are pawsome and very elegant and the grooming options are amazing. If you want to up your feline’s star quality, this is the place to stay. I would be tempted but traveling. If I didn’t find the idea of being stuffed in a carrier and traveling the 2682 miles from my home to the resort holds no interest for me! If any of my east coast feline furiends have a stay or a grooming session there, let me know.

Gus the Cat Entered in Australian Dog Swimming Race

The Scotland Island dog swimming race has been held for 44 years in the Sydney area. This year an entrant nabbed Gus shook things up a bit as he is an 11-month old Tonkinese cat.  Gus’ human, Glenn Druery had been training the feline in Middle Harbor. Gus enjoys other water sports like kayaking and paddle boarding.

The Tonkinese breed is a cross between Siamese and Burmese and is known for not being fearful of water. Still, Gus is nowhere near the size and strength of the dogs that compete in the 500 meter swim.  Druery checked the rules and noted that a human can swim alongside the four legged contestants.

Needless to say, ther4 was controversy about Gus’ entering the race with many saying that it should be kept as a dog race, stating reasons such as, “it’s cruel to the cat, it’s dangerous to the cat and it will upset the dogs.”

Druery assured the sceptics that he’d be swimming alongside Gus and, if Gus ran into any trouble, he’d climb on Druery’s shoulders.

Druery’s black Border collie, Bob, swam in the race twice and finished third and was declared the overall winner in the 2015 race. Sadly, Bob passed away from cancer.

Gus came in first in his category and is now a feline Australian sensation.

Osaka Hotel Offers Rooms With A View….Of Cats

There are hotels for cats and now there are hotels for cat lovers. Neko Hatago is a hotel where guests can watch 16 resident rescue cats chilling in the adjacent cat café Neko Yokujo through an observation window in each hotel room. The hotel opened in mid-December. It has a traditional Japanese aesthetic, with traditional wooden fixtures, tatami mats and a rainbow Mt Fuji mural presiding over the cat café. The hotel is more hostel than a luxury property. The rooms have individual bunks for one or two people with a separate shared bath facility.  There is an observation window in each room that looks into the cats play area. The windows are designed so you can observe the cats but neither you nor the other human guests can see each other. There are radio controlled toys that you can use to play with the cats.

Rates run between 8500 Yen ($79.00 USD) to 11,500 Yen ($105.00 USD) and include a two-hour session in the cat café outside of regular hours. And, if you and one of the kitties connect you can adopt a new friend as all the cats are available for adoption.