Alberto Opines on the Tour de France

Mainzer cats in bike race

Hello Furiends,
Alberto here. I am feeling the need to opine about this thing you humans call the “Tour de France” because it’s kind of  a big deal around our house, especially with the Male Human. He gets up , feeds the Tribe and manages to get to the place he calls “work” to watch the Tour by 5:00am. Now this early schedule is of no consequence to me as I’ve had my breakfast and morning head scratch and I know there will be more petting after my early morning nap when the Female Human finally appears from the bedroom.

Tour de France 2018You may be asking, “Why is the Male Human so crazy about this ‘Tour de France’ thingy”? I think it’s because he likes to hop on his metal machine with the two skinny wheels and torture himself frequently, like those Tour humans. I find this kind of exertion baffling and so does the Female Human. She has her own metal machine with not so skinny wheels and a basket in the front. She has floated the idea of putting one of us in the basket but her lack of coordination and tepid attitude toward her own machine has me less than enthusiastic about the prospect, especially since she has been known to run into parked cars and mailboxes.

My Connection

img_1787But I digress. I have some interest in the Tour de France because I am named after a famous Tour de France rider (now retired) named Alberto Contador.  I am sure you can see the resemblance., he’s a lean mean biking machine and I am a lean, mean feline machine!  I must say however, I am a bit dismayed by my namesake’s comment upon his retirement, he said, “I’ll gain weight and you’ll make jokes about it.”  I want to say “Alberto, don’t let yourself go! Have you seen my brother Oliver?! ” I’m happy to report he’s kept his lean physique so far. If you want to learn more about Alberto (the human) you can watch this video on Youtube, The Best of Alberto Contador. If you want to know more about Alberto, the feline, just subscribe to our blog.


Alberto’s Fun Facts About The Tour

  • Those pedaling humans use a lot of water, more than 42,000 water bottles will be used this year.(I wonder what size litter box they need for so much water drinking)
  • The average cyclist will burn around 4,000-5,000 calories during each stage of the Tour (about 123,900 for the race). That translates into eating 252 McDonald’s double cheeseburgers. (Note to the Female Human, you may want to consider a little more peddling on your metal machine!)
  • There are 3.5 million watching the Tour de France on television around the world. (I’ve watched a little of it on our big black box, it’s definitely not as fun as watching birds and squirrels on the upstairs balcony).
  • The first winner of the Tour de France was Maurice Garin. He won in 1904 but was later disqualified for cheating after he was caught taking a train in the Alps. (This feline says “kudos” to him for his ingenuity!)


Still Not Sure…

Fat Ronaldo soccer player
Although I will respect the Male Human’s obsession with this Tour de France thingy I still don’t get it. From this feline’s point of view it’s far too much work  for too little reward. I will say though that it’s pretty cool being named after a famous cyclist and much better than being named after say,  the soccer player “Fat Ronaldo”!


42 thoughts on “Alberto Opines on the Tour de France

  1. Hahaha this is funny, there is a definite resemblance there Alberto, but it looks like a lot of hard work this Tour de France, best stick to being a lean, mean feline machine. ;o)


  2. That was hilarious, thanks for the laugh!! I must admit I do enjoy a cycle ride but the weather has to be just right, unlike hubby who cycles in all kinds of weather. I always see tons of cyclists because we live near the beach and they like to go along that road, but I laugh and say they’re cycling to the beach but dressed like they’re in the Tour de France.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I love the Tribe of Five! After reading this article, I had to ask my Wicked Tribe what they thought about the Tour. Every one of them agrees with Alberto…way too much work, and they don’t even get a food reward at the end. My golden Deuce especially didn’t think that anything except a cheeseburger could possibly entice him endure such torture. I think he meant a years worth of cheeseburgers, but counting is not his strong suit.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Always interesting to hear how pets get their names! I have to admit I don’t know much about pro cycling but I enjoy a leisurely bike ride around the park every now and then. My dogs love to come with me!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Oooh, how excellent, to have a human staff that cycles. I do hope though, that it is all put to a good use and they fetch YOUR supplies, the 20kg sacks of litter and 25kg sacks of kibble and treats and mice? Personally I do think I prefer Mrs H’s sedate way of cycling, with a special attachment on the front for my Sleepypod. She can be a demon on the peddles if she needs to be and always makes me smile with her tales about brushes with the law…. several buses and quite a few pedestrians and statues MOL
    Toodle pips and purrs

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I agree with you – too much work! I think it is cool that you are named after a rider. My cats go to shows and one of the other exhibitors names all his cats after WWE fighters. Only one of my cats have a fan name – my little tabby girl is Minerva after the Harry Potter. I have three nameless kittens that need names – perhaps they will have fan names.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I remember watching that every year with granny in the old country. She loved watching sports and there was nothing else on TV too. So we watched. My mom doesn’t care about sports but watches it for the scenery. LOL

    Liked by 1 person

    • Our Male Human really needs a
      12-step program for his biking obsession but as long as it doesn’t conflict with petting or feeding time we’re okay with it.
      Purrs & Head Bonks,


  8. I love that top illustration and just looked up the illustrator. He was amazing, so many fun cat themed illustrations! I learned a lot about the Tour de France. I’m glad I’m not the only one who rides her bike into mailboxes and parked cars. It would not be safe for me to give anyone a bike ride.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Alberto you were named after a Tour de France bicyclist?? Interesting. Well I must say I have to agree with you…it’s a lot of effort for little reward. Human rewards work differently than feline reward but I digress, lol. You are way cuter though, I’ll give you that!!!


  10. Bonjour, Tribe of Five from FiveSibes! Oh, this gave me a great chuckle! Now while I knew there had to be a lot of water used at the Tour de France, 42,000 water bottles – whoa! It’s nice to hear a little about you (being named after a famous cyclist and all)! Thanks for the fun facts!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I do not understand the obsession with metal machines either, although I do have one – the kind your female human has. Mine doesn’t have a basket though, but I really want one so I can ride my dog Phoebe around in it! Thanks for this educational and insightful post Alberto!
    Love & Biscuits,
    Dogs Luv Us and We Luv Them


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