Alberto here. The female human ordered a huge heavy walking machine (she calls it a treadmill) recently and The Tribe of Five watched with interest as she and the male human put this monstrosity together. Our snoopervising duties did not end when the thing was assembled, nope, that’s when our work really began. Having done these duties for a month now, Oliver and I thought we’d share this manual with our other feline friends who have humans who use these machines.
Step 1 – Clear the Way
The human must move the rug in order to place a thing she calls a mat on the floor. Lacking opposable thumbs, I am limited in what I can help with but I do make sure she has moved the rug over correctly. To indicate my approval, I will sit on the folded carpet.
Step 2 – Placing The Mat
The human then takes a long rubber thing she calls a “mat” out of the closet and sets it down on the bare floor. Oliver’s job is to make sure the mat thingy is placed correctly and that it hasn’t lost any of its softness. Once Oliver stops rolling on the mat, the human may then remove him for the next step.
Step 3 -Placing the Machine on the Mat
Once Oliver is removed from the mat, the human rolls the big walking machine over and prepares to lower the bottom half. Once the machine is placed purrfectly, Oliver does a quick walk-around and indicates when he is satisfied that the placement is correct.
Step 4-Assess if the Walking Machine is ready for use
After Oliver has given a “paws up” to placement, the human lowers the moving part of the machine. It is then my job to carefully observe all areas of said machine before we allow the human to get on it.
Step 5 -Turn the Human Loose
After all feline inspection is completed indicate to your human that the machine may now be used. This indication may take many forms; we prefer stretching out across the length of the machine as our signal. you may find something more suitable for your household. The human (once she removes us) may then begin the walking procedure.
Step 6 -Safety First
Even though the human is now using the machine, there is still an obligation on behalf of the household felines to stay and make sure the human doesn’t do anything stupid (I mean dangerous) so you must remain until the walking is finished. We prefer two observation options, one is under the green chair and the other is as far away from the thing as we can get.
Step 7 – Cool Down Time
When the human finishes she observes something she refers to as “cool down time”. This is when she sits on a chair and breathes heavily. In order to ensure that she does not overdo, you must station yourself on the moving machine until proper cool down time has been observed.
Step 8 -It Isn’t Just About The Human
Snoopervising is hard work! When all equipment is put away and the rug and the furniture are returned to the proper places, and you’ve carefully snoopervised your human to ensure they did not injure themselves, you should then head upstairs and take a 4 or 5 hour snooze to recover.
Oliver and I hope these instructions will prove helpful to all our feline friends and their humans with moving machines. If you have any feline snoopervising tips you’d like to add, please give us a meow.
Purrs & Head Bonks,